Gay Time

I used to be on time everywhere - sometimes I was even early.  The problem with that is that all of my friends run on "gay time".  I'm not sure why exactly (don't worry, I have theories), but gay men are always a half hour to an hour later - for EVERYTHING.  Yes, I'm generalizing.  Are there gay men who are punctual?  Absolutely.  But even they can be influenced eventually.

Take Gaybie for example.  Once upon a time, he was early for everything.  He was that guy who shows up for your 9pm party at 8:30, but you're just getting IN the shower because you're assuming nobody will be there until at least 9:30 so you give him some random kitchen task that you never would have had time for otherwise.  And then he became friends with other gay men and spent a good portion of his time sitting around waiting for other people.  He'd be 20 minutes early to an event that everyone else was 45 minutes late for - that's an hour of awkwardly sitting around alone.  And over time, he adapted.  Now he's definitely one of the worst offenders.  I love the text messages I get that let me know he's running on gay time and will be late.

The problem with being a straight girl who has started running on gay time is that not ALL of my friends are gay men.  (You might want to sit down at this point.  I realize that last sentence may have come as a shock.)  I am now notorious among all my straight friends for being routinely late.  I feel bad about it, I really do.  But I just can't figure out anymore how to be on time.

Gay Time.  n. The act of being habitually 30-60 minutes late for every event.  Possibly due to increased time spent getting ready, a desire to be "fashionably late", lack of attention to detail due to drinking, and/or grindr, etc.  Also known as "gay-o-clock" or "homo standard time", both of which are not really acceptable for use by straight people.