FruitWeekend of FruitAwesome - Part 2 (Saturday)

The  morning of the festival I woke up ridiculously early and headed over to offer my help.  A friend had been unable to locate the megaphone he had borrowed from a friend for Pride the weekend before, and they needed it, so I got sent to the store along with an out-of-costume queen to get a new one before the race started, along with a few other small items.  I knew exactly where the megaphone had been at his house, so I stopped off and broke into the garage, finding it immediately - exactly where he left it.   Unfortunately we still had to go to the store, where thanks to a never-ending stream of texts from those setting up, we had quite the cart full of items.  We made it back to the start line just in the nick of time, and then I was driven to the location on the race route where I was to stand, cheering for people and reminding them to turn.  As the first runner ran past me, I stood on the corner staring at the map trying to figure out which way to send people.  They finished the race, so I suppose I sent them the right direction.  Either way, everybody went the same way, which I guess in the long run is really all that matters, right?  You haven’t seen a 5K until you’ve seen one with men wearing tutus or women covered in balloons to look like a bunch of grapes though.

The afternoon was an afternoon of frivolity and people watching - drunk people watching.  I disappeared for awhile and upon my return was greeted by my boys - all in their underwear and taking turns in the dunk tank.  Small children (and ok, adults too) took to just pushing the button instead of throwing balls, but hey, they fell in the water either way.  I met some new people, watched people stumble around, and basically just walked around taking it all in.  The variety of people at these events is unbelievable.  My boss even showed up for the final musical act - an 80s pop sensation who has since sort of fallen off the map, unfortunately. 

There is a new guy in our midst.  This new guy is the ex of a friend of mine who has a penchant for causing drama.  Drama friend has in the past had some history with and continuing mad crushes on both a bartender and my BFF, which has made for some entertaining highlight reels for sure.  New guy moved across the country a few years back I guess, and has since returned to the general area.  He spent the weekend visiting my drama friend.  Fresh meat is always a hit at these events, and he’s nice to look at so he certainly was.  Over the course of the day, my BFF and the new guy hit it off quite nicely.  But the drama friend didn’t take it so well, and I’m torn between thinking it’s funny and feeling bad.

After the show ended, I ran home to shower and check on the dog that I was dog-sitting for the weekend, imploring people to text me if they left so that I’d know not to return.  Nobody texted, so I returned an hour later - only to find that most people had, in fact, gone home to sleep.  Or, in the case of some, had been sent home.  The few who remained told me how they had sent this one guy in a taxi to sleep on the sofa of a friend, despite his desire to go to a different bar.  Two hours later, the drunk friend showed back up, extremely intoxicated and explaining how he had just taken a second taxi to the bar, where he met some random people who brought him back to the club.  He proceeded to share way too many details of past sexual escapades, and mid-story noticed that he seemed to be wearing only one shoe.  After finding his shoe, I suggested that perhaps food was in order.  We walked to a local burrito place, where he proceeded to befriend a random lesbian, to the point of pretty much sitting on top of her in the booth.  After a few minutes, he challenged another girl to an arm wrestling match, although only after noting that she was hairier than he was and therefore would probably win.  (This is a man who shaves his ENTIRE body…fish have more hair than he does.)  After about 3 minutes of this arm wrestling match not going anywhere, his food arrived and all thoughts of physical acts of strength were abandoned.  After a few minutes of eating, he noticed that he was making quite the mess and asked for a napkin.  As I got up to get him one, he grabbed an abandoned quesadilla and used that to wipe his face.  Seconds later, he offered the same quesadilla to the drag queen who accompanied us.  I’m not sure what I would have done if she accepted.